I’ve always prided myself on my work ethic. I LOVE to work long and hard. There’s something wonderfully fulfilling in the sweat and stench that comes from a hard day’s work. I had no idea how much so until i laced up my Glazier boots for the last time on Thursday August 30, 2018. I decided to leave the steady, hard-working, good-paying job and follow a dream that’s been gnawing at me ever since i signed up for the 2nd Grade talent show to sing Patrick Swayze’s “She’s Like The Wind” (i chickened out at every role-call); I’m going to sing my songs to any audience that will have me.

So yeah, I’m 34, worked most of my life (outside of high school) in construction-esque trades, following a dream i’ve seen painted in different hues all of my life. Met some AMAZING people with skill-sets unimaginable, learned a lot, got tough, laughed, sweated, & froze. Yet I couldn’t help but feel this wasn’t MY dream, it was simply the only one i’d known, and i knew deep down that the day was coming when that “gnawing” feeling would die. I had started playing music at a local resteraunt on some weekends, hoping that would satiate the thing inside my head. Inadvertently; it just cracked open the door to a world i KNEW i wanted to be a part of.

I remember listening to a Joe Rogan podcast a couple of months back with Sturgill Simpson & having my attention wrenched towards my iPad when Sturgill said (something to the effect of) “no one should write an album/get into music until their in their mid 30’s”. I’m TOTALLY paraphrasing, but I took it to heart. In a sense, it’s not that you haven’t truly lived until you’ve reached your mid 30’s (obviously, because just LOOK/LISTEN to the EPIC artist that are barely in their 20’s), it’s almost as if SO much goes on between the teens-to-30’s that…i don’t know…it’s like that life experience is necessary for some folks…a part of the songwriter’s journey…the back-log of stories behind the forthcoming music. Or, like me, you’re goddamn hard-headed:)

Long story short, I jumped…and here’s some things i’m learning:

-Sticky notes with “To Do” lists (whether it’s daily or weekly “To Do’s”) are SUPER important. That way I can physically SEE progress, and learn how much i can ACTUALLY accomplish in a given day.

-Anxiety WILL come. It’s a must. Finding ways to handle it, look beyond it, or breathe through it are SUPER important as well. I’m not a pro at picking the healthiest ways all the time, but the healthier the better.

-Physical movement is SO important! I thought money was going to be the monster anxiety kicker-upper. What I realized, after a week of writing new music, practicing, & emailing every possible venue i could think of, was how much the feeling of physical accomplishment, at the end of a hard days’ work, did for me mentally. It’s been a part of my daily existence for so long that i equated that with my sense of manhood and being. It is a necessary part of my nature (i like to MOVE! I like to get shit done! AND sweat!!), but i’m learning how let go (slowly) of the notion that physical exhaustion = being a MAN. So yeah, exercise is the shit!!

-Practice has taken on a whole new importance. I’m finally starting to understand that the repetition of anything your focussed on becoming better at, is SUPER healthy! It’s as if you’re preparing your body and mind to feel free to LET GO, and let the Muse take hold. You’re honoring your craft! I’ve had that “flow-state” happen many times, but just recently realized how vital it is to get your mind and body ready for those moments.

The heart that beats inside each and every person’s chest is overflowing with truth and wisdom…Learn to listen to it. It has it’s own way of talking. Once you’ve heard it, you never forget it, but your ears do get clogged

"Between The Shadows"

-Hey Lady could you stay awhile with me,

We can get crazy under a streetlight's glow...A streetlight's glow

-Hey Lady did you hear those church bells ring,

Droning through the silence,

Through their dissonance did you hear my heart beat,

Cause it's been raging,

At the sight of me and my fading eyes

-Still you take my hand,

And we set off into the night,

Between the shadows,

Between these shadows,

-Is there some end we're chasing down,

Or just singing into the silence,

What's that Doll,

You just wanna dance

-So I'll take your hand,

And we'll sail off into the night,

Between the shadows,

You'll find me,

Between these shadows

The Beauty of Simplicity

"There's something beautiful in the simplicity of a natural path..."

I decided that I needed to get out into the woods yesterday. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and yet I couldn't escape this ominous cloud in my mind. It had gotten to the point where focus seemed nearly impossible, so before I snapped, I headed out to the mountains. Probably the best/healthiest decision I had made all week:)

The humid, southern-summer air was thick and heavy, and I had 2.5 miles (mostly up with a couple of switch-backs towards the end) to the ridge. My goal was fairly simple: empty my mind, breathe-in the woods, be in the here and now, & get to the that epic view at the top! After I had gotten about 50 feet into the woods, I realized that this path was not the same that I had traveled in late winter/early spring. This patch of woods had turned into JUNGLE with the humidity to match!! 

I quickly realized how long I had been away from my usual walks-in-the-woods. I hadn't experienced fear like this in ages! It was no where near crippling, but that it was present regardless, was almost shameful. The path was interestingly tough to make out at times, and it was hard to know where to place your feet. So I got to deal with 'trust' & 'movement' in the same breath.  A good portion of the hike up was more like a "battle" of sorts. I was hashing through my mental garbage and making headway, while new fears and thoughts were trying to usurp the newly emptied rooms in my mind.

Around 1 mile in, it hit me that this hike was made even more challenging by the lack of vision up ahead. The trail was overgrown with only deer paths to follow at times, and there was no clear sight of the ridge up top...No clear picture of a goal, and distractions all over the path...this was now a challenge, and I want to say it was probably my first smile of the day. This whole experience, before I even began it, seemed set up to be a metaphoric I smiled and moved on. 

This hike was working more muscles than I had intended to use; however, dripping with sweat, i made the ridge and it was SOOOOO worth it!! I realized that clear vision isn't necessary for completing a task, but damn if it doesn't help:) I don't know, the picture that I saw was one of  "Here's what you missing when you're not in the present because you're so busy sabotaging your path with distractions and fears" You miss "The Rush" of accomplishment, "The Beauty" that's always in the moment, and "The Magic" that exists all around us in this game of life. 

I also got to see a bear cub, and that alone made the trip worthwhile:) There's something interesting about the timing and placement of events. For instance: on the way up the mountain I would go through spurts of slower paces and PUSHING until I HAD to stop...I think it's just the synchronicity of events that makes me smile and wonder...

The Spinning Mind

So I got into the ZONE today. I was a cup of coffee and 1 cigarette in and ready to GO! I HAD to let some music out my body!! So I did; and I did some blogging, recorded, just about got the new song (Whisperin Wind) tacked down, remembered to eat around 11am, stretched...I figured I was in the zone and set off to the mountains to get some more stuff recorded.

My buddy Pat showed me an awesome out-cropping of rocks jetting out of a hillside and that's where I ended up. Forgot headphones, mic stand....and, oh yeah, PRACTICING these older songs that I hadn't touched in 2-3 weeks!! "HaHa" on me! I might have something I can salvage out of the mess...(definitely not...i checked...and definitely not). So I ended up getting 1&1/2 songs recorded, packed it up, sat back and pondered on the chaos of the day. Granted, it was beautiful chaos, but chaos all the same HaHaHa!!

I LOVE getting carried away with something positive and moving at warp speed with it!! But, for me, this creative process is more rewarding, in the long run, when I step out of the manic spinning craziness that is my mind, and slow it down. 



"I hang a memory 'round my neck

To ease the burden in my chest

Remember child...To breathe..."

  A few years back, though it always seems like yesterday, a friend gifted me with this necklace after a long, AMAZING walk through the woods. He introduced me to the notion of "The here and now... The present moment". It was only a concept to me then, having spent most of my life, hidden in my the past...and so COMPLETELY unaware of the beauty that exists in each moment! So it's kinda my every-day reminder, though somedays it's deeply subconscious, that, it's ok to breathe, drink your coffee while listening to each bird usher in the morning sun in its own way, and let the moment envelope each and every one of your senses...allowing the multitude of thoughts to come and your breath

  The mind's an amazing thing! The way that we develop patterns without any perceived effort, whether good or bad, and how these patterns can become hardened/cemented into our existence, until they seem to be a "part" of us as's mind-bending at times. Yet, in my experience this far, I've learned that I'm responsible for creating "Heaven" or "Hell" in each moment. Someday's that's a KILLER realization (killer being a good thing)!! Somedays...not so much...the necklace becomes heavy, and I lose "The Moment" as I make the quick leap back into my mind, losing touch...staying safe...

  Life, with its ebb and flow, seems to have an intelligence all its own, knowing when you need a kick in the ass to get you (the REAL you) back on track...creating heaven...

  It was a stiflingly muggy friday morning at work as we roll up to the first job. Nothing out of the ordinary, someone cutting grass had busted the tempered glass in a patio door, and we were there to replace it. My mind is there, but it feels like I'm mentally multi-tasking as i'm also pondering how to make music for a living versus cutting glass for the rest of my life. Then we meet the customer, and within the first two sentences of introductions, the customer makes a comment that hurtles me back into the present..."This will be a sad, but a good day"... I look up and the older gentleman had tears welling up in his eyes, as he went on to tell us how his wife, of 50 years, had gone into seizures when she heard the glass break, because it had scared her so bad. She had died 5 days later............

  These are the moments that seem to bring everything back into the reality of NOW. And then you take a breath, make an attempt at vocalizing some comforting words to ease his pain, and continue on with each moment.....later on, realizing all you have is stay here:)

  This was a beautiful bummer...a moment in time where I want to be able to close my eyes, breathe in, and exhale some words of comfort and light, or at least emit a glow of care, when there are no words to say. This magic occurs only in the present....

So STAY PRESENT, BREATHE, and hold your loved ones CLOSE:)



"Throwing the Switch"

I know, I know, I guitar has a horrible ground:) Hope y'all can tough it out and possibly enjoy:) For more of the story behind this series of hiccups and speed bumps that morphs into a song, check out the blog

  So, I've got a ton of random points that stuck out to me after I made this video which will make this more of a rant of sorts rather than a blog...but, for the sake of blogs, we'll call it a blog:

  • So I learned that there is something horribly undoing about the glowing red circle on any recording device. This was a typical Saturday morning, clothes washing in the next room, 2 cups of coffee down, working on the 3rd, Instagram's all checked, world news shows me that things are still...well we're still here, and I pick up my Lady (a.k.a my guitar), and in 1 take I NAILED this new tune that I've been picking on!! Musically, Vocally, Lyrically...EVERYTHING was in sync!!! Then I touched the GODDAMN red button!! HAHAHA!! And now you have this bumpy ride through the writing/playing of music.
  • The mind is SOOOO interesting to me! How; in the course of a couple minutes you can move through the lush green fields of focus (Toss in a splash of variable/distraction) to the barren tundra of fear/panic. I chuckled when I first watched this, because I was able to see my mind working through the speed bumps, and settling back into place (for the most part:) 
  • There's an odd nervous twinge that grabs me whenever I'm attempting anything involving even the slightest bit of pressure; but, MAN it feels good to move through it!! The art of laughing at oneself is invaluable!! Take, for instance, my one and only unblemished V-Neck white T-Shirt (making it automatically my favorite); totally a belly shirt!! HAHAHAHA!!! And now I know, and new shirts are on the way:)
  • I wonder why the humming (bad ground) subsided when it did? Was my mind in full focus? Had I worked through enough distraction? Did the words work some magical spell over my electronics? Or maybe it was just random...
  • This is a new song, and it's essentially a description of an evening. I'm fresh off of work, everything in me is exhausted, and all I want to do, is sit back in my Crazy Creek, and watch the day end...

  I don't have the best record of handling stress in the healthiest of ways, just ask the guys I work with:) It's a haunting flaw, hahaha. But, due to happenstance, the normal levels of stress have BLOWN through my over-sensitive atmosphere!!! HAHAHAHA!! I'm learning new things about myself each day...and they're not always pretty...

  However, there are those epic moments in life (they come preferably at the top of a mountain, where your senses are doing their best to simply struggle taking everything in, or in the time lapse of a solitary glance from your love) where the perfection and beauty of the moment can in NO way be transferred into a picture or something technological. Even though you give chase as if you could ever touch...some moments are SO PURE, that they're sole purpose is the experience of the moment...That was the moment I experienced, just hanging out on my tailgate, watching the day fade, wondering when all of this sudden pressure would subside...I think the key is in letting go (because, realistically, how much control do I REALLY have), flowing, breathing, and LOTS of laughing at myself:) 

Let me know whatcha think:)

"Today I Chose Words"

So this was TOTALLY supposed to be posted nearly two months ago....and then life got CRAZY for a bit:) it goes

It's been and interesting Spring so far this year. Or maybe Im just more aware of the change...That would be AMAZING!! However; it's more likely that: the colors are just THAT gorgeous, The scents are THAT spectacular, And the new life is THAT inspiring

The issue then becomes, removing your ass from the dropped tailgate (upon which you are perched, soaking in the soothing evening light) and putting movement to I chose words

The Vision

I've never had an issue with sitting. Hahaha, it's one of my downfalls...i LOVE to chill!! However; my mind reacts to stillness & calm as a child reacts to the stoic doctor with needle in hand. It's fight or flight!!

Years ago, i had a friend introduce me to sound entrainment. Essentially its an ordered movement of tones that are playing at a certain hertz, preferably through a decent set of headphones. The tones gradually put the brain into a meditative state (at least the tones that i enjoyed listening to), and for the first time, i caught a glimpse of complete stillness. It was UNBELIEVABLE!! I can't imagine what my mind would be like today if i had used this tool on a daily basis from then till now! However, i've noticed over the years, i've a tendency to hold answers in the palm of my hand only to let them's a character flaw...

So there's a little background...Flash forward to 2 days ago...I think we can all recognize when there's TOO MUCH going on upstairs. My subconscious was throwing a bitch-fit! Waking in the morning to a clenched jaw & vivid, irreconcilable was time to get back into stillness. Usually the first entrainment after a stint of none, doesn't really amount to much. The last time i made it a point to hit it every day was about a month ago. During that time, i was literally seeing images and themes behind closed eyes...feeling asleep yet awake. The last image i saw, before i put it down for a while, was a background colored in reds and blacks, and i remember the feeling of fear, and yet moving towards the fear. The last image was of a hawk flying towards me, slowly at first, then with unimaginable speed, we were eye to eye, and the intensity in its stare was enough to send me back into the world that i had forgotten existed. It was puzzling, exhilarating, and frightening...

So 2 days ago, I got home from work and put on Cory Allen's album "Binaural Beats" (DEFINITELY recommend it), and in no time at all, i'm back in the same hues of deep reds and blacks, and i see the face of a girl & a serpent. The girl was smiling, and it seemed as if the girl and serpent were one body. (i know this is probably getting weird hahahaha, just bare with me) Other people started appearing, and eventually the serpent ate a person. The girl reacted with horror and started screaming "NO!!" The serpent turned and devoured her. The reds and blacks became more intense, and the serpent began to eat each person it encountered. The old symbol of the serpent eating its tail came to mind, then i saw it. The serpent had devoured everything, and had began chasing its own tail, forming a circle, and began devouring itself. I knew that eventually it would consume itself...the music began to fade and i made the mental journey back to my chair...and now i'm playing with the riddles:) 

This is one of the areas in life that intrigues me. Any thoughts...